American Music Club Hello Amsterdam EP

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      I Just Took My Two Sleeping Pills and
      Now I'm Like a Bridegroom Standing at the Altar

      The world hides like a smile behind your hand
      I became hard and cold, your smile became quicksand
      I don't know what city I'm dailing your number from
      I don't know if you'll be there or if I'll ever get home

      I just took my two sleeping pills
      Now I'm like a bridegroom standing at the altar

      I'm not innocent but I'm bled dry
      And I'm stuck wide awake with no dreams in my eyes
      Do your worst I'm sure that it couldn't even scratch the crust
      Of a case study of a life without trust

      I just took my two sleeping pills
      Now I'm a like bridegroom standing at the altar
      Waiting to embrace my new life with all the love in my heart
      Waiting like a bridegroom standing at the altar

      And everyday I meet more people that I'll forget
      And everyday I become more like someone that you should forget

      I just took my two sleeping pills
      Now I'm like a bridegroom standing at the altar
      Waiting for you to slip your ring around my finger



      The President's Test for Physical Fitness

      Once upon a time me and Vudi met
      A major American rock star in a shop
      We were immediately jealous of his hair
      And his fuel-injected sports cock

      He made the usual stupid sexual jokes
      About the way he comes on top
      But I could tell it was a lie
      By the way that he walked

      How did you pass the Presiden'ts Test
      Even if I can't match your ability to compete
      At least give me a chance to cheat

      He said, "Are you losers making fun
      Of our serious vocation?
      You just gotta bring the music to the people man
      And then go score a hole in one."

      The pleasures of a treadmill and the factory
      Took all the innocence from his eyes
      Leaving him to spurt unashamed
      By the size of his dull suprise

      How did you pass the Presiden'ts Test
      I never felt honest telling those virutous lies
      And my toupee always gets into my eyes

      How do you pass the President's Test
      I don't even want to know my score
      I don't know who's telling me the truth anymore

      I said, "The only thing that we're good for
      Is being forgotten."
      And I know you're big enough of a star
      To make sure that the job gets done

      How do you pass the President's Test
      I swear one day they'll build a monument
      To the man with the most reasons for his embarassment

      How do you pass the President's Test
      No I don't even want to know my score
      I don't know who's telling me the truth anymore